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Screenplay Excerpts

“The Holiday Embalmer”

Proof of Concept. Humor and drama. A transformative Series.  5 main actors.


You find me attractive, don’t you? You do. I’m a person who knows when I’m someone’s possibility or someone’s idea of a freak show. It comes with the territory. I get the vibe in a glance. A lifetime of experience. Good and bad.

“Handle with Care”

Proof of Concept. Series drama. 5 main actors.


Don’t patronize me. We lost our little boy. We lost him. He’s gone. And I am not ever going to go get a replacement part, you get me? Because there is none. I am sorry I can’t carry another baby for you. Your younger than me, I get it.  If I’m not enough anymore, I won’t begrudge you. Let’s face it. For wherever life takes us, we are never going to be the same.

“Divorce, Its; beautiful”

Proof of Concept. Series comedy (episode 1). 4 main actors.


And I believe in Santa Clause, so what. We’re divorce lawyers Marvin, that’s what we do. Divorce. We finalize the separation and send them on their way. And if we do our job right, we’ll have repeat business within 7 to 10 years and referrals in-between. You taught me that.

“Divorce, Its; beautiful”

Proof of Concept. Series comedy (episode 2). 4 main actors.


It gives you pause? 40+ years of pent-up sexual frustration, assuming you had a normal puberty and God only knows how many more pints of spermatozoa you’re still packing. I’m not a human sponge, do you have any idea - OK, let’s keep our composure here.

“Timing and Circumstance”
Short Story/One-Man Show

Welcome to addiction. The monster of the midway - If you are ready to do battle, expect to lose. If you want to pitch in and help the combatant, expect to fuck it up and add to the misery. You will have no idea what you are doing. No amount of preparation can prepare you. No book, no shrink, no mantra, no self-proclaimed expert, nothing. Everyone has a plan, but none are as cunning as the passion’s plan. Every combatant owns a burning desire to keep on the path to destruction. When the savior meets the addict, the idiot meets the half-whit, and both are interchangeable.

Short Story/One-Man Show

I felt Cecilia’s hand on my zipper and felt it go down and I felt Cecilia undo my belt buckle and then gently flip open the snap on my jeans and then I felt Cecilia’s hand over my naval and her fingertips glide under the elastic band of my white jockey shorts and I made my mind up right then and there was no way I would let the devil girl touch me further . . . but I could not help myself!

“The Last Good Man”

Short Story/One-Man Show

Then she then said, I am sorry, but I have to tell you, while we would always be friends our romantic relationship is over. She told me she learned on her Ayahuasca trip that she evolved from a Siamese cat and believed I evolved from a mouse. And she did not see me as viable mate any longer. Then we both burst out laughing, and as she laughed, I could see Burgess Meredith.

“La Thespian”

Short Film. Comedy. 1 actor. 1 VO.


Well, I like adventure. I’m brave. My husband and I tried sex on the Coney Island cyclone, once. His idea. It went badly. He’s never fully recovered. I love to cook. I’m good with a ladle. My friends say my Lasagna gets them all hot and bothered. If you’re not Italian,  you wouldn’t understand. Shall I go on?

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